I like fireworks!

I am evidence that people like music even when they don't know what the song is about. I'm not proud to admit that, but it's true. I love "Firework" by Katy Perry and I finally know what it's about: Finding your self-worth. Isn't it true that many of us underestimate what we were made to be? In seeking God and his heart, I can confidently say that He made me ON PURPOSE WITH PURPOSE. I believe that goes for all people. With that, even though Perry doesn't have the most "innocent" songs, she gets it that we are all fireworks! We are something to be celebrated and cherished.

So, go on and take a hold of the worth in which God has given you through his son, Jesus Christ. And you don't have to tip-toe through life. Make loud steps, make a mark. Don't worry about the scars or the bruises. Don't worry about falling. If you do, there's really only one direction to go and that's upward. You are worth it, so very much.

That's my 2 cents for the day, baby!




Smile Big, Firework =)

-E.H.

I think I really miss it

Thought 1:
I miss winter breaks. Winter breaks are special because they are too short for you to feel obligated from working to fill your resume and they're just long enough to get you pumped for the semester that follows. Everyone keeps asking me, "Are you excited about winter break?" Woe is me, I have no winter break. I have winter, but no break.

Thought 2:
The phrase "live a little" has taken on new meaning for me. I feel like people usually say that when the person's too uptight to go out for drinks or bungee jumping or something crazy and spontaneous. To me, it means "enjoy the process".

In the coming new year, I want to be transformed into someone who LIVES rather than someone who is planning how to live. I want to appreciate the steps God allows me take rather than starring anxiously at the prize.

Thought 3: Is it sad that I don't know how to play in the snow? =( Someone teach me! Every winter, something always comes up and I don't get to play in the snow. I have become quite the awkward snow player in my 23 (EW) years of life.

Smile big, kiddos!
-E.H.

Letter from Family

I have relatives in Hong Kong (I am Korean) and just received a letter from them for Christmas. I want to write a little excerpt from their letter because it cracked me up and I want to remember it.

Background story: This family is very near and dear to me not just because they are my relatives but because they are true living testimonies of God's grace. They have shown me that it's never too late to live, never too late to hope, and never too soon to hold onto the Lord. Their oldest son Isaac was born 3 months premature. His twin sister Rachel Grace did not make it through labor. He lived in an incubator for many months, underwent various surgeries, battles certain hearing and speech disabilities because of the extreme pre-mature birth. I had a chance to stay with them when they were living in Japan and play with him. It makes me so happy to hear that they are all growing together as a family. I've taken the names out simply for their protection because I don't trust the internet. HAHA

Excerpt from letter:
"While [the dad, my cousin] is keeping very busy as usual working, working, working, what he really loves is the time he spends with I--- and A---. Daddy loves coming up with fun activities for the children and keeping them on their toes. He is often more entertained than the kids forcing them to learn "safe words" (in our case "DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY") to escape severe tickling, performing a new form of physical therapy on I--- by applying submission moves learned from UFC fights and continually trying to catch the kids in a moment of inattentiveness by intentionally misreading stories or pretending to be a petulant North Korean by blatantly denying something he just said."

HAHAHAHAHA I just cracked up again. That made me smile. I love their humor, too =)

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

Smile big,
E.H.

This Christmas

Don't be afraid to say, "Merry Christmas!"
Jesus came for all not just Christians so that ALL could have a chance to be saved and experience amazing grace.
This Christmas, let's get rid of "Happy Holidays". If you are really excited about Christ's birth and if it really means something to you, don't be selfish and keep it to yourself. Go and share that joy. If they feel as though it's unprofessional or imposing, simply explain that you are just sharing something that you treasure with them.

I am really bothered by the people who are on TV explaining what the meaning of Christmas is. I keep hearing that it's about enjoying friends and family, being kind, reaching out to the poor and unfortunate. As noble and nice as it sounds, I don't think that's what Christmas is about at all. Those are the effects of Christmas, not the cause of Christmas. Christmas is about acknowledging and celebrating the light of Jesus Christ. It's about turning to God and saying, "Thank you for a second chance through your Son." It's about how God revealed his heart for us, His children.

Honestly, I don't think you'll ruin someone's day by saying, "Merry Christmas". It might throw them off, but if it does, GOOD JOB! Now they're thinking about Christmas!

Smile big and Merry Christmas, everyone!

-E.H.

Inspiration Explosion

It's one of those days that I am just exploding with inspiration. I have many of these so it's not all that odd but I just feel like talking about it. It's even more exciting when my dad gets excited about my ideas too. I love my pops.

I'm really tired right now because I've been thinking and dreaming too much today. I spent the afternoon trying to finish my personal statement for applications but honestly, I just feel like a crazy person right now. I have so much on my mind, want to do everything in the world, and I think I need some dinner in my tummy.

Man, kimchee, spam, and eggs would be so awesome. Oh yes, can't forget the bahp. But it has to be white rice because all them other kinds of crazy bahps are no good with spam and eggs. Freaking love spam and eggs. My tummy just grumbled in agreement.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I need a trampoline so that I can jump all this excitement off! And then maybe I'll be calm enough to pray and be a normal person about life...or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Okay, that was exciting.

Back to studying for my P.A.S. exam.

Smile big and be inspired,
E.H.

Mah MANS

Mm...you know who I'm gunna talk about! MAH MANS VICK AND JACKSON!!!
My throat is killing me right now because I was cheering my Eagles on ALL DAY! You know it!

Sickest game ever. Michael Vick, why you so smooth like that?! DeSean Jackson, will you marry me? Why are you so funny and so quick with it?! AHHHHH!!! Okay, and I don't want to forget the in-betweens because they were sick too: Celek, McCoy, and Avant <3




























Awesome. ^_^ EAGLES, PHILLY, and FAM, YA'LL MADE ME SMILE! OO weeeeeee~

Smile Big,
E.H.

Oh, the places you'll go...

Some may call me a dreamer, but really I'm just an overly curious girl who has interests in too much.







Smile big,
E.H.

Sweeties

The parking meter ate my $5 today and my fingers felt like they were going to freeze, but you know I was still smiling because TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY AND YOU MADE ME SMILE!!! =)

Today is definitely a day to round up all the things that made me smile!

1. Talking and giggling with my grandma all morning
2. Volunteering at PHA
4. The kids remembered me! I'm becoming a friendly and familiar face!
5. The lady I work with is the so sweet and caring to her community
6. I made it back alive on my drive home...definitely fell asleep and drove off the road
7. Qdoba for lunch
8. Brown paper package from my "Maryland Family" <3
9. Cards from grandma and oppa
10. The many, many texts/calls/e-mails from friends who knew my birthday WITHOUT Facebook
11. Starbucks gift card from my mom who has already given me too many "birthday" gifts this past month.
12. Christmas family photo from the Kim's
13. ALL YOU CAN EAT crabs with my family and bestie Holly =)
14. Rest
15. Heaters in the car (it is so cold!)
16. Memories and having people to make and share them with
17. My mentor, Susan and our metaphors for the Holy Spirit (wind chimes, sailboats, and golfing)

I'm so tired because today was kind of a long day but I'm so happy and feel so blessed.
I am surrounded by God's goodness and I know his love is all around me.
Thank you so much, God!!! I know I'm so foolish, like all the time, but you never cease to show me favor unending.


Cheers to smiling big,
E.H.

Cheerleaders

Fact: I was a cheerleader in 7th grade for football season and then quit when basketball season came around because I was scared of walking in the dark back home from the late-bus. That's the first time I have ever confessed such a silly thing. Okay, that and I didn't like jumping up and down in the cold (my team sucked so bad).

So, what I'm getting at is...that even though I'm a quitter of a cheerleader, I have many cheerleaders in my life and that made me smile SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much the past few days.

My LSATs were today and there were so many of my friends who cheered me on, all the way up until I went to bed and into the morning. I have to say, I KNOW they were God-given and God-influenced because most of them were people whom I never thought would remember me for such a small thing. YA'LL KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YA'LL ARE AMAZING! =)

And of course, I had my grandma praying for me all day, my big brother and mommy pray for me before I left. I had my cousin waiting for me back home and I got to meet with my mentor, Susan, on Thursday. And my Coyotes e-mailing/texting me. It's been a lovely week and God really surrounded me with the utmost love.

I could smile today during my test because God just kept reminding me that he loved me. Now that I'm done, I can just wait for my test and keep smiling because I know he loves me. That is the best and most life-giving blessing, to experience and know that God loves you. And when he chooses special people to reflect his love to you, even when they don't know they are, that is special too.

Smile big, kiddos <3 style="font-weight: bold;">

You made me smile, all 4 of you!

Okay, so I like never double post, but I knew there was a reason why I didn't feel like making a "made me smile" list. So, today I had a little dinner with four of my girlies, Hyeji, Christina, Grace, and Jes. Hyeji made her unnis kahl gooksoo (AWESOME!!!) and then while I was slaving away making them some cake, they pulled out another cake in the fridge and SURPRISED me with an early (really early!) birthday cake! I was like, WHAT THE! =) Aww~ It was so sweet and it really made me smile. Here are some pictures!































Yeah...we're kinda ghetto and only have BB cameras. HAHA =P

And!!! Grace bought me Peeps, my secret obsession that isn't very secret!
Here are pictures of me beheading my cute little snowman Peep.















I look really nice, right? HAHA, jk!

















...But not really! Muahaha~
















What now, Snowman?!

Hahaha, I'm on a serious sugar-high. THANK YOU GIRLS FOR BEING SO SWEET!!! <3
I am happy, I am full, and I am blessed!

Oh! And I finally received my copy of "Design Revolution" by Emily Pilloton. So excited to read it! =)












Smile big,
E.H.

Mom, I feel Sleepy.

You know, I used to think I was a very energetic person. Like, bouncing off the walls, boing-y toing-y, silly willy, free to be me energetic. Either something has changed within me or I've been sadly mistaken and am truly a sleepy being. Which also makes a lot of sense. I remember I used to fall asleep in 3rd grade all the time. And honestly, I kind of feel like I slept through my elementary school years...I barely remember it!
Well, I remember I cried one time because I made my friend cry because I asked her if she was picking her nose. HAHA, that cracks me up every time =P 1st grade with Mrs. Young (she was seriously old though). And she WAS pickin' her nose, or as my oppa says, "Touch your brain!"

Anyways, today I spent most of my time studying and sipping on a really bad cup of coffee. Not that I think I'm a coffee expert, but you know a good cup of a coffee from a bad cup from the way they taste after they lose their heat. I miss "Do Me a Flavor" coffee...and their bagels...

So, usually I do a list of things that made me smile...but it's not quite the end of the day and I am so hungry that I feel compelled to list a things that I would like to eat.

(Dear God, I hope this doesn't come off as complaining! I just want to remember my weird and random cravings. If you want to help me eat them, that'd be kinda cool...=) Well, not that you eat...or maybe you do...but like if you want to help me get them...yeah...)

Things that I'd like to eat:
-Crown Fried Chicken with an obscene amount of hot sauce
-McDonald's 89cent Hamburgers
-And...a McChicken...with fries...and large coke...with their large straw!
-Betty Crocker Confetti Cake Mix (baked, of course!) smothered in Pillsbury Cheesecake Icing
-Baked & Wired Blueberry Lemon Cupcake
-Banana bread pudding (...something I've actually never had, but I think would be amazing)
-Kimchee Bbokkeum Bahp w/SPAM
-IHOP Buttermilk Pancakes
-Pad Thai
-Thai Red Currry OR Evil Jungle Princess
-Caramel Popcorn
-Peeps
-Greys Papaya Hotdog (but it has to be at like 2 am or something)
-Chicken and Rice (again, must be like 2 am or something)
-Mojito from Cuba Libre
-David's Mai Lai Wa...salty squid
-Qdoba Burrito
-Taco Bell
-Butter Pecan Ice Cream
-Soo Jae Bi

Okay, I think that's it for now...=) That made me feel better for some reason. HAHA

Today, I was an animal

"We cannot live the afternoon of our lives as we did the morning." -Stephen W. Smith

This morning I felt like this:









Yes, like a fat turtle that just got beat up.



Had I known that my day would end so well, I would have smiled more this morning but I didn't.

Around 1pm my day somehow just started to turn around. It's amazing what change of scenery can do to a person (I love studying at my dad's office!^^)

So, in the afternoon I felt like this:











Yes, like a tiny monkey with glasses.


After, I tutored my little pupil (so cute!), drove into the city for a meeting, then I unexpectedly stayed longer than I anticipated and went to Chi-Town with some fellow board members for some Pho and can I just say, there really are some decent people on this Earth. I cannot doubt for a second that God does not pick and choose the people He surrounds me with. He always puts me with good people. Made me smile =)

I felt like this on the drive back home:








Yup! Like a little bunny in someone's hands (God's hands!).



Thanks for taking care of me, God. I know I complain a lot, if not out loud in my brain.
I know I am insecure, too, but you keep me anyway and always remind me that you're keeping me. Please keep me forever ^_^

Smile Big,
E.H.

Confronting Nothing

"It is nothingness that I have to face in my solitude." -Henri Nouwen

I wonder what Barack Obama thinks about when he's by himself at the end of the night, about to sleep, in his bed.
I wonder what Genghis Khan thought about in his solitude, his many, many days in prison, in silence.
And what about Bill Gates?
Or Oprah Winfrey?
Or Martin Luther King Jr.?
Or...you?

Why do we like to keep busy so much and cry out for rest or peace and quiet?
Why do we allow the hustle and bustle of our very own thoughts, that are quite often more odd or disturbing than not?
Why do we feel obligated to "become something"?
Why do we get involved in things?

What is your motivation to do anything? Is it God? Is it your pride? Your greed? Your parents? Your friends?
What makes you feel more substantial, that by taking on another mountain of sorts you became something else or that you are simple little you and nothing else?

What's so bad about being simple little you and nothing else?
When did we start feeling like being simple little us was bad?
Why do we feel like being simple little us is bad?

Simple little you is wonderfully and fearfully made.
Go ahead, find quietness, find solitude.
Nothingness is never really nothing because even nothing is something.

THAT made me smile today. Thanks God ^_^

Smile Big,
E.H.

Move Along!

"Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along."
-"Move Along" by All American Rejects

In high school, I was the first amongst my closest friends to get a driver's license and I didn't have a fancy shmancy MP3 player with an adaptable thingy until much later. So, to get my music fix, I had my friends make me mixed CDs named after them to have in my car. Well, it's been 5 years since then and I'm not the neatest chick on the planet...so those CDs are all over the place. And since then, I've been hooked on NPR and Praise 103.9 (man, hve times changed...). Well, yesterday my brother dug up one of my mixed CDs from my friend Mina and there's this song I forgot even existed, "Move Along" by All American Rejects.

I LOVED this song back in high school because it was fun to sing along with, I didn't think about what it meant. Well, I think it's just because of the period of my life I'm in, trying to make every moment count and meaningful, but yesterday I found myself really connecting with the message of this song and appreciating it.

"So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold"

What comforting words and so true! It reminded me of my relationship with Christ, how he's also prodding me to move along even when life seems dramatically horrible and lame.

Your hands are mine to hold.
I love that line! So sweet.

Okay, Go listen to it now:



(FM (more like CHAN, because I know you're the only one who reads this from FM)...you guys should consider doing this song next semester! ^_^ Hehe I would arrange it...but I don't got that kind of skill yo)


Smile Big,
E.H.

It's called "TODAY"

"I am a dreamer
Take me higher
Open the sky up
Start a fire
I believe
Even if it's just a dream"
-"Dreamer" by Bethany Dillon

Must I take my head out of the clouds?
It's just nicer there.
The sun is always shining above the clouds.

I feel like it's been one hit after the next.
As soon as I recover...BAM! Knocked down.
But, maybe I shouldn't complain because none of the doors have closed.
I'm not seeing the end.
Which, truly, could only mean that it's not the end.
And I just have more steps to take.

Okay, so I'll take my head out of the clouds for a little bit tonight so that can remember today. As soon as my head hits the hay, back to dreaming!

Things that made me smile:
-The pear that saved my life (Thanks Andrew!...Even though you will never see this!)
-Recording in the studio with Chan & Andrew, Scott & Matt
-"By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North
-Finding the mixed CD Mina made me back in high school
-The flexibility of my job and encouragements from my boss
-Baking cookies
-Steak and veggie dinner mommy made for me
-IKEA's newest chairs
-Dancing with the Stars
-My glasses (I felt like my contacts were going to suck off my eyeballs! EW!)
-Being at Wegmans
-Spending time with Colette and PHA
-Buying turkeys for the first time

Things I need to work on:
-Being present and concerned for the NOW
-Discipline
-Sticking it out, especially when it's tough
-Waiting
-Stop questioning

I'm so excited to switch my Invisalign tray tomorrow! It's my 3rd set!
3 down, 10 more to go!

Smile big,
E.H.

5 Second Rule

Hehe, I know this picture may make you think that I'm referring to that rule when you drop food on the floor and consider it good-to-eat if you pick it up in the quick 5 seconds its on the ground. But, I'm not. Today was one of those downward domino days, one bad thing leads to the next bad thing, to the next bad thing. And before you know it, you're driving down a road that is closed for construction with a horrible rattling noise from a flat tire you're praying will magically heal itself by pumping air back in, messing up your day. REJECTION. (Hence, the cute little "talk to the hand" picture!)

God picks such crucial moments to sit you down (literally, I was sitting in my car seat) and quiet everything around you (again, literally had to shut off my engine and sit in the middle of a closed off neighborhood entrance where no one can enter). And he gave me the "new" 5-Second Rule:

Now, depending on the kind of situation you are in, it could take longer but here are the steps I took during my "5-seconds":

1. STOP! Get something to write on/type on and write down everything that has gone wrong
3. BE HONEST about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. No one is around to scold you for being the way you simply are.
4. Repeat what you wrote to God
5. Think about the worst thing that can happen to you, which for most people in all extreme cases is DEATH.
6. Touch your face. If you can feel your face, you are probably still alive. Good for you. Pat yourself on the back.
7. Since you reminded yourself that you have not faced the worst of the worst, all those awful things still might make you feel stinky, but REMIND YOURSELF there is hope yet to make things right.
8. Breathe and move forward.

Hehe, I know, I know! This is pretty silly, but honestly...this is what I did in my car as I waited for my mom and AAA to come and save my ass! And you know what? God restored a little bit more joy and hope in my heart than I had started out with today.

You know how they say, "Hey, it's not the end of the world"? It's TRUE (to some extent). And honestly, as I was driving home, I was so thankful because even if I did die I know exactly where I am going! And where I'm headed ain't so bad :P

Okay, so it's just 2:12pm, Friday afternoon. I still have time to do what I can. I still have time for God to change me and work in me.

So remember the next time you're feeling frustrated, discouraged, or anxious: 5-Second Rule!
Take the 5 seconds to Stop, think, be honest, pray, and count your blessings. It's easier than makin' pie!

Eat your veggies, kids!

Smile Big,
E.H.

Hehe, his name cracks me up...

Uncle Kracker- "Smile"


This song is so cute. I love it!
I heard it for the first time in the car today.
I thought he said, "You make me frown upside down" and thought it was really clever. But he didn't. So, I guess I'm clever. HAHAHA =P JK!

Today was a better day. I had a much needed talk with an older friend who put things into perspective and that I'm not crazy. I'm a control freak who is disguised as crazy. =P

Turn your thoughts into prayers, kids!
Always keep the Lord near to you.

Make a frown upside down,
E.H.

Tough Times

=( I know this is supposed to be a smiley blog, but the past two days have been emotionally taxing. I don't understand why I keep reacting in such a horrible way. I tell myself, I pray to God all the time that I'm going to be better, that God will make me better... =( It's so hard to break away and turn your face against anger and frustration.

My heart is really ugly right now. It needs an extreme makeover.

Counting my blessings,
E.H.

Chick Flick Binge

I don't know why...well I know WHY...but I've been on this chick flick binge. Netflix is seriously a WONDERFUL investment (props to ma brothaaa~...haha).

I can't stand to watch any other movies at this point in my life. Oh, except documentaries (I highly recommend "Babies"). Those are the only two things I want to watch these days (more like this past month and a half!).

I love happy endings.
I love love stories.
I love simple story lines that you can predict.
I love silly simple humor.

What happened to the days when we didn't crack sarcastic jokes, let alone even know what "sarcastic" even meant?
I love laughing at the fact someone just farted at a seriously inappropriate time.
I love cracking up because someone has geem stuck in the middle of their teeth.
I love knock knock jokes and corny konglish jokes.
I love jokes everyone gets and no one gets hurt by.

A smart man is a man who remains simple in moral, laughter, and forgiveness in a world that is increasingly over-analytical and complex.

...Yeah, you can quote me on the last one. Hahaha
JK, you guys probably think that was really dumb. ^^


Just Watched:
















I loved it!
...I should also mention that I'm not a very reliable critic.
I like most every movie I watch.

And I'm reading:















Now, with books, I consider myself to be a pretty reliable critic! =)
Definitely pick this book up. It's a wonderful study aid (that means you should read this WITH the Bible) and gets to a the heart of the matter...literally!

Today was my first day at work. =)

Smile Big,
E.H.

CLC Cafe Ministry

So, I keep talking about this cafe ministry I'm a part of and I completely forgot that one of the pastors at my church created a HD video of our very first night. Enjoy!



Smile big,
E.H.

He wants it all today!

I LOVE THIS SONG!


I had a job interview today with a really awesome company.
Can I just say that God really knows how to make a girl feel special?
He is THE best part about me, ain't no doubt about.
What a tremendous experience--he really turned my thoughts into prayers, reminding me that he is here with me.
Hired on the spot! So thankful!

Now...about those LSATs...=P

Smile big,
E.H.

LISTEN TO THE SONG!!!

List Numero...I don't know!

Things that made me smile:

-The understand my dad has for me
-Baking for others
-Seeing people enjoying the food I made for them
-God-centered friendships
-My mentors
-Nathaniel Hawethorne & Short Stories
-Getting the answers right while practicing for exams
-Acceptance into a business program
-My grandma waving both hands, high in the air bye-bye as I drive away every single time
-Ramyun and mandoo on rainy days
-Being at WEC Headquarters
-Warm Feet
-Meeting loyal people
-E-mails that carry deep conversations
-My brother's love for his new garden and my sister-in-law's undying support for everything he does
-Recipes with delicious pictures
-CLC cafe ministry ladies--my prayer warriors
-Ice water
-The youthful look of my parents
-Wednesday Night Small Group + potlucks
-Chance for another day, chance for another opportunity
-Desire to praise
-Dancing in the car even when everyone can clearly see you look a fool
-Good sleep

^_^ Smile big,
E.H.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" -Mary Oliver

Just a thought

The value one puts into a days work at the office or in meetings could be the same value another puts into watering her plants.


Sometimes, the simple things in life are what allows us to live.


What makes your heart skip a beat?

Just another list...

I haven't done this in awhile, so I thought I'd make a list of things that made me smile today:

1. Waking up without having to rush out the door to go to a meeting or appointment
2. Hot chicken soup for breakfast for my little cold
3. E-mail chain from small group about prayer
4. James 5:16 <3
5. Mommy made dduhkbohki and mandoo for dinner ^^
6. I made my brother "Tadpole in a Hole" for his dinner and he liked it! I love making cute food with cute names!
7. Tae Kwon Do was really silly today with our newest master.
8. My dad's fleece jacket from CBMC that I jacked...kept me warm all day!
9. Finally replied to all the e-mails that had "MUST REPLY" tagged on them
10. Finished embroidering the tree I've been working on...now I'm onto the sheep
11. My cousin is officially a full-time employee at her company!
12. Sometimes, my silly thoughts make people laugh. Today, that happened
13. Quiet time of silent prayer
14. Did a big heap of laundry...still have a few more heaps to do!
15. Cleaned room, finally! (HAHA, most of it was just laundry anyway!)
16. Kind of wrote my first complete song...it really came out of no where
17. Journaling
18. Crayola Crayons
19. Dancing with the Stars...I really like it this season. I am all for Jennifer Gray and RICK FOX!!! =P
20. My mom doing the funniest impression of this guy we know being afraid of a spider


These days, I'm learning how to enjoy processes.

Smile big,
E.H.

Options

Sometimes, having options isn't always the easiest thing.
Sometimes, when I'm on a date, I have the other person order for me so that for once, I don't have to choose everything.
Sometimes, it's more comfortable to sit back and follow than to lead and make all the decisions for other people.
Sometimes, I just don't feel like processing.
Sometimes, I just don't feel like conquering the world...honestly...I never want to conquer the world.
Sometimes, I think that's having a lack of ambition, but I always remember that this world is not for us to own.
This is my Father's world and I eat, sleep, and breathe on it.
Cool.

Loving hot sweet potatoes and Autumn weather!

Smile big,
E.H.

You can't google "twilight" without dumb vampires popping up.

I was just trying to get a picture like this and so I looked up "twilight" only to find Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart on page 1-384989384 on Google. LAME! I really don't like that series...if you couldn't tell...hahaha

Anyways, instead of spending my time talking about things I don't like, I wanted to talk about things I actually do like!...Makes sense, right? =)

Today, I didn't have a chance to go on my morning run. It was partly due to the fact that my calves are still sore from Tuesday's run + conditioning at Tae Kwon Do, partly due to the fact that I talked myself into sleeping an extra hour because I can (one of the many luxuries of being a professional studier). Then, I quickly had to blast out of bed and run errands for the cafe that my church is trying to start up. The times I spend with my cafe ministry small group are so precious to me. Praying with them always brings me to my knees and I know the Lord is guiding our every moment, every discovery and vision. Anyways, to make a long story short, I had a bunch of things to do today and I had just finished my much craved ramyun and mandoo for dinner...30 minutes later, I was out the door and running as fast as I could in the dusk (I will refrain from using "twilight" because I'm mad Google didn't know what I was looking for. HAHA).

I've never taken a run so dark into the evening, only being able to see 5 feet in front of my steps. Granted it was only about 7:30, but I guess it's just the signs of Autumn truly making its way back into our lives. The night is much louder than the morning. Man, I had a million thoughts in my head, but nature was chatting much louder than I was. It was kind of like trying to study at Barnes by the cafe...noise coming from every direction, never ceasing. I think it was a blessing that it was so loud. It made me stop thinking and just enjoy what is simply around me. Hear what is outside of me instead of what is within me.


And here I am, 10:36pm, LSAT books glaring at me (!!!), calves sore, full belly with unni's birthday cake...another day that God let me live.

Smile Big,
E.H.

John Legend

Is it weird that I shook his hand, stood 10 feet from him while he was performing, and felt nothing?
No joke, I thought I would be more excited. I'm not sure why, but I've never been star-struck and it was just like that today. I was more excited to see my friend perform on stage earlier in the evening. So weird.

And isn't it weird how easily we change our minds?
What if I didn't answer my phone?
What if I didn't consent to erasing an e-mail written to me before reading it?
Why do we act so passionately only to sometimes, many a time, regret it?
I kind of wish I didn't answer my phone and that I had read the e-mail written to me.
Then I could see the true colors of certain friends and test to see if I love them enough to forgive them. You know?

I kind of get why God is always telling us to be patient, kind, slow to speak, and compassionate.
It's so that we don't act on the pity we have for each other, but act on true God-inspired love.
It's so that when we help each other we're not "helping" each other.
It's so that we would be stopped and blinded from judging each other in order for kindness and compassion to overflow, rather than legalistic instruction.
And, it's so that when we do decide to speak, we speak from both mind and heart, in wisdom and in full understanding.

Man...can I be patient, kind, slow to speak, and compassionate?

Anyways, I was back in NYC tonight for this benefit: All for Africa.
Look it up =) It's pretty cool. This time NYC didn't leave a bad taste. Thank you!

Smile big,
E.H.

Little Girl

Did you ever stand still for a moment and suddenly realize that you are just one little person standing in a huge world? And then realize that everyone is the same as you? And the realize that the Earth is actually quite small?
It makes me realize how simple I am. It almost makes me feel powerless, more human.
It also makes me hate New York. I'll probably get a lot of grief for saying this, but I just do.
It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

One thing I hate about growing older is that you only meet more and more pretentious people and you yourself grow more and more pretentious by the minute. And you just don't see it coming.

Sometimes, I wish I were okay being a wallflower.

Wow, I was so thankful for the abundance of stars shining over my neighborhood tonight.
They were the best greeting a girl could have. God, I know that was you. And I also know I didn't deserve it, but I'll take it anyway even if it's foolish to do so. <3

Smiling big because of God's stars =)
-E.H.

Something I've always wanted to do

Today, I went over my friend Missy's house and refurbished some furniture.
It wasn't really big wood work, just some sanding, wood-filling, re-coloring bar stools...
but I've always wanted to work with wood and renew furniture.
It was really fun and I felt like such a little kid!

Thanks God for keeping me busy today =)

Smile big,
E.H.

A wiki-wokka-wooki-woo!

I love Wikipedia.
Here, I'll link you: http://en.wikipedia.org

Is is bad that I feel enriched and enlightened every time I read something from Wiki?

Let's learn. Let's Wiki.
(Dude, what an awesome slogan. I should get paid for this.)


...In other news...
I sorta ran up a wall during my Tae Kwon Do class today. I was really bad at it. HAHAHA =)

Smile Big,
E.H.

I will sing of love come down...

I encourage you to listen to this song, "Lord, You Have My Heart" by Delirious. I was deeply blessed by it this morning.




Things that made me smile:
-Even though God is the only one who has the authority to judge me, he takes me as I am
-Even though my family is imperfect, I know we are blessed
-Even though I am imperfect, I know I am blessed
-I am blessed because I know Jesus
-Today was only the second day of teaching the 1st graders, but one of my students thanked God that I was teaching them today during prayer. That truly made me feel special and I know that was from God
-Music...how beautiful it is, how unique simple phrases can be with the switch of a note, key, tone
-The rain
-I physically felt God teaching me today in my heart, helping me to restrain from saying certain things and encourage in others
-Yum Yum Donuts!
-My jeans fit me today. HAHA =P
-The idea of "refuge"
-Being able to drive on my driveway again (we've been parking on the side of the road because we just re-paved our driveway)
-My 1st graders can admit that they're not perfect, something people my age and older can't confess or believe about themselves.
-Pandora. *Click! Click!* and music plays
-Water

Smile big,
E.H.

Friday Thank You's

Well, technically it's Saturday, but my Friday evening spilled over into Saturday due to a movie night with my two bestest cousins, Grace & Jes. We went to go and see Eat, Pray, Love.
And...now I'm here...back home...getting ready for bed...and smiling because there are things to be thankful for. I haven't done this in awhile, so here I go to close off my "Friday" night!

Things that made me smile:

-I know how much my family loves ones another, loves me
-I know how much I love my family!
-God truly has provided the best company ever, every day
-I got to spend time with my dad playing golf
-My drive got better while I was practicing
-My mom cracks me up even though she thoroughly annoys me
-My mom's trip got canceled...I know this sounds like an awful thing to say, but I had serious anxieties about her leaving. Like cried-in-the-car-by-myself-praying-every-day-last-week serious anxieties. I seriously can't help that I have issues and serious attachment issues with my family...okay?
-God understands me.
-I went shopping with Missy to little thrift stores to plan for our cafe and also met people of faith along the way
-I bonded with Missy and Judy, once again! I love Cafe Ministry small group <3
-My student, David, was such a delight to teach
-I had my very first Sunday school lesson with the first graders
-Even though I couldn't finish my lesson, I think the kids enjoyed their time with me =)
-I got to play on the piano today and just sing
-God provided those beautiful chairs for my church and he let me be a part of that

Lastly...
-I am sitting at home knowing that everyone in my family, my dad, mom, Joe oppa, Phil, Soona unni, and G.Ma are all under the same roof, resting.

I smile. I smile BEEG. I smile BEEG like mile. =)

Smile big,
E.H.

More on my Mary & Martha rant...

So, several days ago, I was looking at Luke 10:38-42 and realized things about myself. I've been digesting the passage and even unexpectedly found a sermon on it by Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church. I encourage you guys to check this video out and take the time to slow down your day and understand the heart of Christ Jesus.

Praise God & 83 Chairs!

Below is an e-mail I wrote to three lovely ladies at my church. Two of whom, along with myself, are the core group for my church's newest small group: cafe ministry. The e-mail will describe what went down today.

"Missy, Judy, and & Marilyn,

I can't contain myself because of what the Lord allowed me to hear. This e-mail is regarding the cafe ministry and our prayer request for furniture. Marilyn, although you are not officially a part of the cafe ministry, I just HAD to include you in the e-mail because this experience reminded me of you!

Okay, so I was on my way to drop off Phil at work and we're talking about where I can study. He suggested Panera Bread because it was close by but I told him I didn't want to go there because it was too "commercial"...haha =P Before he got out of the car he said, "Well, good luck wasting your time looking for another cafe!" And my pride was kind of hurt and GOD did something in my heart to give in for my pursuit to find the "perfect place" to study and I opted to go to Panera.

So...I'm sitting at Panera with my Earl Grey tea (DELISH!!!) and blueberry muffin (EVEN MORE DELISH!!!), doing some LSAT practice problems and for one second, my ears perked up at the sound of one of the bus boy's conversations! He was talking to another worker and said, "We're getting new furniture and are getting rid of the ones we have right now." God INSTANTANEOUSLY reminded me of our cafe ministry and our request for cafe furniture!!! Okay, so I lifted up a quick prayer to God because I was starting too get REALLY EXCITED!...I finished my problems and decided to go talk to the manager to find out what they woudl be doing with the old furniture (WHICH LOOK IN PERFECTLY GOOD CONDITION!!!).

Here's what went down:
Basically, Panera workers get first dibs. Whatever is left, is given to the contractors later tonight AFTER business closing, and THEN are thrown in the DUMPSTER.
THEY ARE BASICALLY UP FOR GRABS IF NONE OF THE WORKERS CLAIM THEM!!!
Okay, so here's my "plan" and I would love it if one of you could join me.
I will be heading to Panera around 8:45pm today, 15 minutes before closing, to speak with the manager (it'll be someone different because of changing shifts). Then depending on what he/she says, we'll wait for the contractors and speak with them. I've already ask both my dad and my brother to see if there are people who can lend us trucks/vans to for the furniture if God allows us to have it. The dumpster comes around 2-3 am...but I'm hoping we can get the furniture well before then if it's up for grabs.

This could be God showing us an opportunity. Regardless of what the outcome of this, God has given me hope. Please lift up praises and thanks to God while asking him to make tonight possible!
I'm just so excited to see what God does tonight. I am definitely hoping that He would allow our church to have the furniture and I have to say that I'll be disappointed if we don't...but I know I am still encouraged because He has given us hope that there are possibilities out there for GOD'S cafe ministry to happen solely by HIS power and HIS mercy <3

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can someone flip out with me! =) This is so cool!

Okay....BYE!"


That e-mail was sent sometime around 3pm this afternoon. It is now 11:34pm and my church now has 83 BEAUTIFUL cafe chairs. I know that God provided them for us. I know God will fill those seats.

I can't help but smile and giggle.
My should seriously hurts, I didn't do well on my practice test, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that God LIVES and that is more than I can ask for.

Smile Big,
E.H.

I don't want to be Martha!

...but I'm finding that I've totally been such a Martha!

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? tell her to help me!'
'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'"
-Luke 10:38-42

Thank you, Lord for your words of wisdom. Thank you that you don't want me to scurry about trying to make everything work the way I think it should. Thank you, that you would rather have me sit by your feet and hear your words than to work tirelessly and purposelessly. Thank you for your mercy. If we had to work off our salvation, we would have no chance of being with you in heaven.

Lord, I have so many fears and worries. Lord, I know you hear me when I cry out to you.
Remind me to be still and quiet before you. You are the God who LIVES and BREATHES life into all things. You are the God who raises and sets the sun. You are the God who reflects his light upon the moon so that we may see even in darkness.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do no fret--it only leads to evil.
For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."
-Psalm 37:7-9


Smile Big,
E.H.

I have eyes, but I don't always see...

...so I decided to open them wider, only to find that I still didn't see...
...so I closed them, only to see the back of my eyelids...
...so I just kept them the way they were supposed to...
...decided to go for a walk...
...slow down...
...quiet down...
...speak slowly...
...and guess what!

...I saw the trees, sun, cars, sidewalk, homes, children, parents, and birds.
I saw the world moving on even though I couldn't see.

There is someone much bigger than I, who works the mornings into evening.
I could stand still as much as I wanted to, try to see, stretch my eyes far ahead to see what's before, but regardless of my tiresome ways...God still works in the world and in me.

Lord, I know that you will let me see whatever you want me to see.
Protect my eyes, ears, mouth, and soul.
Make me a "good tree" that will bear "good fruit".
Even though I can't quite see and I don't quite understand, I know you are near me.
So even though you gave sight to the blind man, I hope that I would be a woman who could remain "blind" and trust you enough that you will allow me to "see".
These are insane words...because what if I do become blind?
All the more to lean on you Lord <3
Keep me Lord!

=)

-E.H.

Hand in Hand

I just had to share this moment in my life with the world, mark it somewhere to remember this day.
Today was the day God said, "Yes, Ellen, I love you, forgive you and I am showing you it in the flesh."
My mom and I have gone through a tremendous amount of growing together. It's. been. very.very. good. It's. been. very. very. painful.
I know I've already written about how wonderful she is, but she really is such an angel. Do you know Queen Esther from the book "Esther" (haha!)? My whole life, I have looked up to her. 22 years of my life and I didn't know that very woman was my mother. Seriously, you might think I'm crazy, but my mom is Esther. BEAUTIFUL (I'm not just saying that because she's my mom, she really is gorgeous), WISE, ENDEARING, OBEDIENT, HUMBLE, and PRAYERFUL.

Anyway, what I wanted to remember FOREVER was that God loves me and I knew it ever so clearly today. My mom made me come outside with her to look at the stars till I got dizzy. We circled our driveway a million times while she talked to me. You KNOW I was crying the whole time too! =) Hehe

Sweet mercies fall from Heaven <3

Smile big,
E.H.

Je vous aime, Bibliothèque!

Since my last semester at university I've been loving the library.
I've even come to embrace the gross musky smell that my brother thinks smells like "old people".
They say that when you're on the web, that the world is at your fingertips, but I beg to differ.
There's something about holding a book, feeling the leaves of pages flip between your fingertips,
that really tickles me.
When you're at the library, every book is sitting there waiting for you to pick it up.
I went to the library today looking for books for one of my students who is curious about space and I found myself picking up so many random books just to feed my curiosity. Had it not been for Tae Kwon Do practice, I think I would have peacefully spent the rest of my evening there.
(Tae Kwon Do was pretty kick-ass today though! I can officially say that I have fought a man over 6 feet tall...^^)

Anyways, go to the library everyone!

I LOVE BOOKS AND SMILING!
-E.H.

Seeds

Spread them seeds and pray that they will reach people who can both HEAR and UNDERSTAND the Word of God.
























"But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." -Matthew 13:23

When seeds spread, they will scatter to all sorts of places, where will your seeds land?
WHO is scattering your seeds?
WHY are you scattering seeds?
WHAT are your seeds?

Hmm...


Smiling and thinking,
E.H.

Words from the most beautiful woman in the world

From an e-mail my mom sent me:

"Jesus, please be the centre
Be my source, be my light
Be my hope, be my song
Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live


jesus , jesus, Jesus, please be my vision
Be my path, be my guide
Be my source
Be my help...


엘렌아 너무 힘들지 ?
미안해 도와 주지 못해서 ... 그러나 우리에게
Father God, Son of God, Holy spirit이 함께 하시기에 your life according to God's
desire !!!!!
remenber these.....

엘렌을 너무나 사랑하는 엄마가 ~"


Thanks God for the encouragement you give me through my mom.

Smile big, bigger than you can bear.
E.H.

Hats

Idealist
Humanitarian
Christian
Woman
Girl
Daughter
Sister
Girlfriend
Artist
Singer
Social Butterfly
Extrovert
Writer
Reader
Student
Teacher
Leader
Follower
Initiator
Sinner
Worker
Boss
Colleague
Homemaker
Business woman
Outsider
Insider
Baker
Eater
Ellen.

Smile Big,
E.H.

Currently listening to Tchaikovsky, Op. 72
...I'm not even going to lie, I just like Brahms and that dude popped up in my Pandora. Never heard it before in my life (I don't think) but I like it!

Life goes by so quickly. You wake up one morning feeling as though the events of a last month were just yesterday. But there's another funny thing about the past. Sometimes what happened yesterday seems so far the next and you find yourself saying, "Wow, that was yesterday? I thought it was last week!" ...hehe, just an odd thought, no?
.
There is a lovely bouquet of sunflowers sitting in a vase by me, compliments of the nearby farm to Mama Hwang. It's actually really weird that they are sunflowers...and that they were for free.
Not going to go into details, but for some reason, when I saw them, instead of frustration, I was like, "Whoa...weird." And when I found out how my mama came to bringing them home also made me think, "Whoa, God...what is up..."
Blessed assurance, maybe?

Anyways, I think I've thoroughly confused you with that one.
Moving on!
Today was the second Sunday of the month so I got to teach the youth group girls.
the lesson was on "An Attitude of God-Can". He has been blessing me showing me so much through Matthew 8 & 9. I URGE you all to go ahead and read those two chapters, believe & trust it, learn & grow from it, and simply enjoy the character of God revealed. So awesome.

God, you CAN do ALL things.
You conquered the grave, surely, you can conquer all else. <3

Friends, READ THE WORD and EXPECT it to transform you!


Smile Big,
E.H.

On my noodle...

^"By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile." So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God." -1 Corinthians 3:10-23

"'But go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice." -Matthew 9:13


To stop hiding behind myself.
To be thankful that even when we mess-up, he says that we'll still have a chance to escape the flames.

Smile big,
E.H.

Did anything ever astonish Jesus?

Hehe, it's a funny thought right?
Well, I'm reading Matthew 8:5-13 and it says that, yes, Jesus was astonished! =)


"When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.

'Lord,' he said, 'my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.'

Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."

The centurion replied, 'Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my rook. But just say the word , and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldier under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant 'Do this,' and he does it.'

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.'


Cool things about this passage:
1. This centurion (Roman leader of 100 soldiers) came to Jesus in Capernaum just to seek healing for his SERVANT.

2. Jesus was ASTONISHED. I definitely grew up thinking, "Oh, nothing could ever move Jesus to be surprised. The man slept through a storm on the sea and simply told the sea to shut up. He knew when he was going was going die. What could surprise Jesus?" You know? =) Jesus really was a man of FAITH.

3. When the centurion came and told Jesus about his servant, Jesus replied so easily and willingly. The centurion didn't even have to ask, "Will you heal him?"

4. The metaphor he uses for those who will be in Heaven and those in Hell...it's a dark metaphor, but at least here, he says that "many" will come to feast.

5. Jesus did as the centurion pleaded and simply healed the servant right from where he stood.

6. The centurion's depiction of who he is in society. He is a man of high ranking but still, he comes on behalf of his SERVANT, and humbles himself before JESUS saying that he is not good enough for the Lord but that he trusts and believes in the Lord. Even though he knows he is not worthy, he doesn't run away from Jesus. Rather, he came to him.

Very, very cool =)

Smile big,
E.H.

Healer

You hold my every moment
Calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You.
I trust in You.

And I believe you're my healer.
I believe you are all I need.
I believe you're my portion.
I believe you're more than enough for me.
Jesus you're all I need.

Nothing is impossible for you.

-"Healer" by Mike G. from Hillsongs

Hobbies and Bobbies

Talking about hobbies today...and I just wrote "bobbies" because it rhymes!

Recently, I've been sewing, embroidering, and crafting a lot.
It's an old hobby of mine that I didn't really have time to do in college.
In high school, I used to embroider my friends' shirts and make little this and that's for gifts.
I don't know why I stopped because I absolutely love doing it.
I'm making a pillow right now and some hair accessories.
Maybe I'll post up some pictures when I'm done.

Anyway, what I really should be doing is studying for my real estate class. =(
And for LSATs. Double =(
HAHA. Sometimes, the thought of being an "olden day" woman, stay-at-home-mommy, and country gal sounds so nice. I'd love to just read books, sew, cook, and wear/eat everything I make...I just don't want to clean. I'll hire a maid for that...or just have a neat-freak hubbo who genuinely enjoys cleaning...^^

Oh, I've always been into this, but I can't wait to have my own home!
First things I would buy if I had my own home:
-Ginko Trees
-Amazing, ginormous, couch that makes me feel small and protected (even if it's the same size as the room!)
-Kitchenware in chartreuse
-Fried chicken and ice cold beer

Today, I'm going tot he chiropractor.
Something's wrong with my lower back and I walk like a peg-legged pirate. Limp, limp, limp.
No taekwondo or golf for me this week, I don't think.

I know I'm talking about a lot of nonsensical things, but today, I'd rather just not talk about deep life issues. I feel like there has been so much "serious talk" and "serious business" around me and it's nice to step aside and just enjoy little things like hobbies and indulge in small thoughts about the future. I think those are from God too. So, thanks God =)

Smile big,
E.H.

Birthdays!

So, I woke up this morning and I was like, "I think it's someone's birthday today...but I can't think who..." And I just brushed it off.

I'm sitting at a Barnes talking to my buddy I ran into and all of a sudden the girl next to us tells us it's her birthday, then this dude behind my friend chimes in telling us it's his birthday as well. And then I remember it's my girl Haejin's 21st! ...How funny =P

So, none of these people will probably see this, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE WHO WAS BORN TODAY! God loves you!

Thanks God for making so many children today.

Smile and blow a candle,
E.H.

I phileo love you.

Experiencing the love of God is amazing.

I am so blessed.
I am so blessed to know a God that loves me and all those around me.
I am so blessed to know that life is not built or sustain by circumstances but on God.
I am so blessed to be in His warm embrace.
I am so blessed to have the privilege of praising His name whenever I want.
I am so blessed to be able to freely share my love for Him with you.

Oh Lord, please keep me.

Inspired by John 21

Phileo & Smiles,
E.H.

Smell

The smell of my niece and nephew are still on my fingers.
I can't stop sniffing them.
They're sound asleep.
Leaving tomorrow.
They are amazing.
Praise, praise the Lord for children who understand the love of God at just 2 and 4 years of age.

I wish the smell would last forever.

Smile big,
E.H.

Rough Week

WOW. Can I just say...what a rough couple of days it has been.
AND. Can I just say...what a wonderful couple of days it has been.

It's been pretty tough.
Realizing that my life is not my own, that my life is not mine to own.

Growing pains.
Very good.
Very painful.

Please read the lyrics to this amazing hymn.
It blessed me deeply on Sunday.

1. My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
   Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
   'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
   At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.
   
   
2. So faith bounds forward to its goal in God,
   And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
   Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard
   Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer.
   
   
3. No matter if the way be sometimes dark,
   No matter though the cost be oft-times great,
   He knoweth how I best shall reach the mark,
   The way that leads to Him must needs be strait.
   
   
4. One thing I know, I cannot say Him nay;
   One thing I do, I press towards my Lord;
   My God my glory here, from day to day,
   And in the glory there my great Reward.

Smile Big,
E.H.

What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

WAH-TAAHHHHHHHHHH~! HEHE!

Today, I went to my first Tae Kwon Doe class taught by my very own brother.
What a freaking amazing work out.
I'm going to go every Tuesday and Thursday.
I hope I look good by the end of the Summer.
I am sick of being a freaking marshmallow.
I want my muscles back.

And now, I rest =)

Smile big, folks!
-E.H.

PA-Turnpike to NJ-Turnpike to Fort Lee to Palisades Parkway

That's basically the route I had to drive today.
What a wonderful day.
Details are for my personal memory.
For you guys, let me just say:
I am so blessed.
God is SO good.
I have a seriously handicapping shy side to me.
I hate the heat.
I am home, happy, missing someone, and wish I could have stayed longer... =)

Jersey, you're not so dirty anymore.

Smile Big,
E.H.

FORE!!!

Hehe, fortunately, I didn't have to use that word once!
Today, I played my very first game of golf. 9 holes. With Papa and Joe oppa.
Love my family! Hehe
Hopefully Phil and Mama will be able to join us next time.
Apparently, I'm pretty darn good! Straight shooter. HOLLA ATCHA GIRL!!! =)
Maybe this will be my new hobby! Muahaha
It's fun!

Smile Big,
E.H.

At the end of the day I...

...am sitting in front of my computer
...have a face mask on to cool the burns on my cheeks
...am thinking about the time I spent with girlfriends roasting and pigging out in OC NJ
...am feeling the long-ish week that has quickly past in my muscles
...am listening to Matt Redman's "Father's Song"
...am thankful for today's praise team practice
...still have yet to get ready for bed
...miss people
...can't believe it's only been 6 days since I got back from North Carolina
...feel the love of my mother and her care for me
...wonder what to do for my daddy tomorrow
...hope that God would continue to cover and protect me
...know that He gives and takes away
...am able to say, "BLESSED BE YOUR NAME, GOD" because He has shown me favor unending
...pray for my heart to be redeemed, renewed, and restored

...WILL BE able to smile after I have this face mask dry up...=P

Happy Early Father's day, God...YOU rock all our socks' every day, all day. I heart you.

Smiles and Hallelujahs,
E.H.

Peep Inside

Look how beautifully God made this flower. He's so romantic ^^

Greensboro, North Carolina

I just came back from a wonderful trip to Greensboro, N.C.
Here's a list that summarizes my time there:

1. First night, was dizzy and had a fever
2. First morning, I threw up and was sick all day
3. Met the most amazing people and wish I could have spent more quality time with them
4. Stayed with the warmest family in all of North Carolina--Thanks P.Kim's Family!
5. Cried every day for various reasons
6. Growing pains
7. Felt love of God
8. Got to know someone better...and I kind of miss them now. =(
9. Random pit stops
10. Disoderly
11. I WENT TO KRISPY KREME AND HAD A FRESH KRISPY KREME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 7 YEARS.
12. Sight-seeing
13. Road tripped half the East Coast on 95, good talks, good songs, good snacks, good company


God, I thank you for every opportunity and I thank you for getting me back home safely. I really missed home. God, I am so sorry for being such a baby, please help me to stay close to you so that I can keep growing.

Even crybabies smile,
E.H.

Heaven State of Mind

"Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere."



Behind every cloud still lies the sun.

Always thinking of life on earth and life eternal.

Smile for Heaven is our reward,
E.H.

Angels are Strangers

I felt the most loved last night when a complete stranger took me into her care, talked to me about the Lord, told ME how thankful SHE was to have me, drove me to the train station, walked with me to the train, and kissed me bye-bye like I was her own daughter.

God, you are so good to me.

I smile for You, Lord.
-E.H.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

...[I'm] in NEW YORK!

I guess I'm silly for always being excited to come to NYC. Actually, it's not really New York, itself, it's the fact that it's a city.

I. LOVE. CITY.
Something stirs inside me and my eyes jump around like crazy beans from one things to the next. I had a chance to meet up with my friend Ray and he commented on my insanely short attention span. He was probably really annoyed (sorry, Ray!) but I really tried so hard to stop myself from noticing every little thing, but I really couldn't. Haha, I just let out a big sigh because I didn't bring my camera with me (I'm stupid) and there are SO many moments when I just wanted to click-click-click away...*sigh*

Anyway, is it silly that I felt so cute having breakfast with my friend at a little French cafe along Broadway? I love it. Ilene and I totally felt so Sex in the City (pre-menopause)

OO! Restaurant recommendation: Cafeteria
Ate there last night with Ray.
GET THE PORK TACOS!!! They are AMAZING <3>

Currently, I'm staying with my cousins in Upper West and I have so much to say about being here. My niece and nephew make me feel so loved!
When I came back from dinner last night, Noelle and I had a little slumber party in her room, told each other nonsensical stories to help Noelle sleep, kicked each other around, tossing the blanket back and forth because it was a little hot, and I woke up to her cute little face. I hope I have a little girl! And then, this morning, she started crying because she had a birthday party to go to, which meant that she would not be able to play with me today. She even tried to fake sick before the bus came to try and stay home. HAHAHA she's hilarious.
And Curtis, oh my goodness. He was so sweet to me, which I'm not used to because he's usually super amped up and crazy when he sees me. But I was sleeping when he came home from school the other day and he just crawls into bed with me and goes, "Hi, Auntie Ellen. When are you going to wake up? How are you?" <3>

...Thank you God for showing me your love. Help me to show them your love <3

Totally Smiling,

E.H.

Home

They say, "Home is where the heart is."

I could be...

I could be a little more spontaneous. ^^

Balloons are for everyone.

If you don't like balloons, you're evil.
And I stand firm in my shotty reasoning.
Seriously, every time I see a balloon, I can't help but get glimmer-eyed and smile.
There is something so whimsically fantastical about balloons.
Not to mention, they encompass everything I adore: chubby, round, soft, & colorful.



[Jonas Wagell] How awesome is this? Please, tell me what I need to do to do put together things like this the rest of my life!



[Max Wagner] Seriously, you canNOT deny the adorable awesomeness of that perfectly air-filled rubber sphere of joy!



[Trafalgarssquare] I just squealed.



[Fay Hwang, My mommy <3]
This was a "guardian angel" that my mommy made for me my sophomore year at school. I had a really horrible time adjusting to everything, was waking up to nightmares, and felt anxious all the time. Yeah, I got problems, whatever. God really used my mom's gifts and talents to remind me that He was protecting me. Haha, it really reminds me of my mommy too. She looks like that, all small and smiley =)




[Me] I dream to have a picnic with my husband (whoever he will be) in a hot air balloon someday. So, husband-whoever-you-will-be, please take a special note of this. HAHA =)


Today, I'm going to help two of my little sisters from church with hair and make-up for their jr/sr prom!!! I think I'm more excited than they are...

Toodles, noodles, and smiles,
E.H.