Worst Invention, EVER: THE SPORK

No lie, the spork is the worst invention ever...my Blogger automated spell-checker doesn't even acknowledge it as a legitimate word as I write this. But no matter! I love it and it cracks me up =)

Here are my thoughts on THE SPORK...dun, dun, duuuun~!

1. Dual-functionality FAIL: Its efforts to be both a fork and a spoon are futile. Sporks are legitimate tools for the economically and environmentally savvy persons, however, they must be starving if they're using a spork. Per sporkful, you will only get a puppy's lick of soup, and zero meat, because the darn thing does not hold it's fluids nor can it grab its solids. It's like a stomach virus in the form of seemingly harmless plastic.

2. The spork is the reason why I never ate the hot foods at my elementary school. Of course, I have to take into account the fact that I was an awfully odd child who had serious anxiety eating in front of others and was afraid of getting lost in the lunch line or being the last to sit at the class table...NO, I was not self-concious...(...^^) However, even with those established truths, can I just say that they REALLY confused my already confusing childhood and fooding experience? Cheese...

3. From a word-loving dork's perspective: The word "spork" is absolutely phenomenal and tickles me bubbalicious pink. It is among one of my favoritest words (Among: chubby, bubble, balloon, boink, cup, and foodies...obviously, I have an impressive range of vocabulary).

4. I appreciate the silly minds of Hubert Gagnon and Aldo Balatti who were the inventors of the spork in 1996 (my source of credible knowledge). They also have silly names which I quite like =)...Although, as an American, I would like to mention that they are CANADIAN (hehe, JABEZ!)...I'm just sayin~!

5. People are inspired by sporks: TEEHEE! This is the reason why I even got to thinking about sporks: http://www.tribecafilm.com/filmguide/spork-film28978.html


And...that's my rant on sporks. They are so useless and I could choose to be irritated at them for destroying my childhood eating experience, but instead, I choose to giggle at it for a bit because it really is just the darnest thing.

Acknowledgements:
-Thanks, Raymond for pointing the way to the inspiration
-Image provided by another blogger


Smile BEEG,
E.H.